What if Your Wife '07 Lyrics

Additional verses were added to the 2006 original.

What If Your Wife Was a Man
(extended version)
apologies to Carla Ulbrich

1
What if I told you, theoritically,
If I could tell you, hypothetically,
I'm gonna be as frank as I can,
What if your wife was a MAN!

2
She was the prettiest in the world,
Then you find out that one day she wasn't a girl,
Would you divorce her and move to Iran?
What if your wife was a MAN!

3
Does your wife stand up when she does number one?
Will you still kiss her and call her your hun?
She'll watch Lifetime and ESPN.
What if your wife was a MAN!

4
I hope this wouldn't make you feel hurt,
When your wife erects a tent in her skirt,
This shouldn't make you feel like a boob,
What if your wife was a dude!

5
Is she too tall for a beautiful chick?
Does she have a rack and a 12 inch rod?
I hope this doesn't frighten you pale,
What if your wife was a male!

6
Does your lovely wife wear a flannel shirt?
As well as an eight-gore chiffon skirt?
I hope this doesn't make you feel screwed.
What if your wife was a dude!

7
Is she part Beyonce and Jay-Z?
and part Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie?
I hope this doesn't make you feel damned,
What if your wife was a man.

8
Does it matter if she has a penis
Even though she's shaped like a Venus
You should still love her while you can
What if your wife was a man.

9
She looked a lot like Alyssa Milano,
But when she's naked, you said oh no,
Would you still be in love with her,
What if your wife was a sir.

10
I hoped you learn a lot from this song,
If she loves you, then you can't go wrong,
Even though her third leg is long.
What if your wife was a man.

Stupid Audio 4.0.1
David Tanny / Audio CD (July 31, 2007, Revised February 5, 2008)
Buy It for $10.00

Note: Transactions are handled by Paypal.com.