Crap's Jr. Lyrics

And now, David Hasselhoff for Crap's Jr.

Son: Dad! You promised you would go.

David: Not now, son. I'm busy eating a big cheeseburger on the floor.

Son: Dad! What's so good about eating a cheeseburger?

David: It's the new $5.95 Baywatch Burger at Crap's Jr.

Son: Dad! Can't you eat the burger in your car?

David: I can't son. It's so big and messy that I have to eat it on the floor.

Son: Dad! We gotta go. We're running late.

David: Not until I finish this big and juicy cheeseburger on the floor.

Son: Dad! You promised that we would be on time.

David: Don't bother me. I'm still eating.

Son: But, dad. Pamela Anderson will be at the fan club meeting.
She's dying to see you again.

David: Are you kidding? She's 40, has sagging parts,
and looks awful without makeup. I'd rather eat
this $5.95 Baywatch Burger from Crap's Jr. on the floor
than to see her again.

Son: Dad, we're going to be late.

David: So late that I'll miss her, I hope.

Son: Dad. Yasmine Bleeth will be there too.

David: No thanks. She's still a mess.

Son: Dad. Jessica Alba will be there.

David: Really? Then let's get to the fan club meeting.

Son: I'm just kidding, dad.

David: Just keep holding the camera until I'm finished
with this $5.95 Baywatch Burger from Crap's Jr.
Then I can upload it to screwtube.com so everybody
can see me eating it and they'll go to the restaurant.

Son: Dad?

David: Just keep rolling the camera, son.

The new $5.95 Baywatch Burger. Don't bother him.
He's eating it on the floor. Only at Crap's Jr.

Stupid Audio 4.0.1
David Tanny / Audio CD (July 31, 2007, Revised February 5, 2008)
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