David Tanny Comedy and Dementia MP3s and CDs

Classroom Sketch

Classroom Sketch.

Purchase "Fight the Mundane" Here

NOTE: Only the voice of the instructor is heard.

Begin sketch.

Good morning, class. I'm your substitute instructor for today, Mr. Mendel.

Your regular instructor, Mr. Saturn is away for a family emergency.

Today's Dementia Music 101 lesson will be the study of the music of Alfred "Weird Al" Yankovic.

Let's open our textbooks and turn to chapter 27.

Now, let's skip over to the page after where we will pick up the time that his first unreleased song, "My Bologna", became a nationwide phenomenom in 1979.

(student starts to chew gun)

You see a picture of a banana in a concrete patch with amplifier up super engine.

Um, say, mister? Mister? You in the back row? Yes you?

There is no gum chewing in the classroom.

Um, sir? This rule means you.

Yes, you. You can't chew gum in class.

That's right. It's disruptive.

Listen, you must spit out the gum.

Your gum chewing is holding up the class.

I cannot continue with the lesson until you get rid of the gum.

Sir, get rid of the gum right now.

I can't concentrate on my lesson because of the sounds of gum cracking.

I don't care if Mr. Saturn doesn't mind. I mind it a lot.

Chewing gum is really gross. Chewing gum I hate the most.

Sir? Lose the gum. I'm serious.

You've wasted five minutes of my time.

I'm trying to teach about the most important musician in the past 30 years, and you're holding up the entire class that the students paid thousands of dollars a year to attend this University. Your gum chewing is a waste of the students dollars.

Sir? Get rid of the gum!

Get rid of the gum!

This is your last chance!

LOSE THAT GUM!

OK. You've asked for it.

(gets out a rifle, cocks it, aims at the student, pulls the trigger, and shoots the student dead.)

(audience applauses.)

Thank you. Now, let's get back to our lesson for today.

(fade out as this paragraph is said)

You see a picture of a restroom on that page? Now, that is where Al recorded his song "My Bologna" with his accordion. The walls provided the special acoustics needed to give his recording the full effect that worked in his song.