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Adventures of Humid Man, The

The Adventures of Humid Man

Purchase "Fight the Mundane" Here

And now, another unexciting adventure of Humid Man!

Humid Man is a mysterious superhero coming from somewhere
out of South Florida, where humidity to the extreme rule.

Humid Man, always dripping in sweat, and stinking up the high
heaven with his sweating oder, diguises himself as Matt Alaska,
the mild-manndered frozen meat butcher, for a neverending
battle for truth, justice, and at least one decent shower a month.

At the First City Bank, Matt makes a deposit on his check, gets some
cash back, and then leaves.
Matt was busy counting his money, when all of a sudden, he hears
a rough voice inside the bank.

Robber: This is a stick-up! Everybody down on the floor or I'll shoot.

A robber wielded his gun at the tellers and told them to stuff
a trash bag full of 50s and 100s.
Acting fast, Matt enters a nearby Joke in the Box restauraunt,
enters the bathroom, and...

Matt: this looks like a job...
Humid Man: For Humid Man!

Humid Man, leaving all his clothes behind, exits the restauraunt, and enters the bank.

Humid Man: I am Humid Man!

Robber: Stop or I'll shoot!

Humid Man: I have stopped. Do you want my money?

Robber: No! You stink and smell too much.

Humid Man: I can't let you leave until you come near me and take my money.

Robber: Augh! Your oder is making me sick!

Humid Man: Alright. So be that way. I'll toss my wallet to you.

Robber: No!

Humid Man: Here is my money. Now take the money and run.

Robber: Yucch! Your wallet is all covered with oder. It's all soaked in sweat.
Urrp. Bleecch.

Humid Man walks over to the vomitting robber and takes away his gun.

Humid Man: I have your gun now, and it's already covered in sweat.

sound of police sirens coming to the bank.

Police Man: Good work, Humid Man. You caught the robber.

Humid Man: Well, my job is done here.

Robber: Put me in a prison with a shower. I need one badly.

Police Man: Ok, men, book the robber and take him away for a clean-up and
vertical stipes.

And so, Humid Man saves another day with his tight rubber super uniform soaked
in sweat.

Policeman: Man, that humid man sure can stink.
Policeman2: Why can't he be a normal superhero that uses deodorant like Batman?

Meanwhile, back at the Joke in the Box bathroom, Humid Man's clothes that he left
there are missing. Looks like he's going to have to buy some new clothes anyway.
Tune in some other time for another unexciting adventure of...

HUMID MAN!